By the grace of God, I have successfully completed “Are You the One for Me” By Bimbo Fola Alade and I have been so blessed by the book. It is not a big book, it is 128 pages and the font is medium sized. It includes scriptural references as it is a Christian book, it also include useful statistics.
When you read the story of Isaac and Rebecca in Genesis 24, you might think that it is “ancient” cannot relate to modern day relationships. Bimbo however proved us wrong, I love how she relates the story of how Isaac married Rebecca to modern day single-hood and finding the right person (See Genesis 24)
Part one talks about the importance of having the right foundations in looking for the one. First it is important to have a relationship mentor who has a successful marriage. Such a person will be able to pray with you and answer questions that throb your mind as a single person, your relationship mentor will be able to guide you in finding the right person. Relationship mentors are a blessing from God and having one is very vital as a Christian. She talks about how we must get help from above and lean not on our own understanding. God is our ultimate source of help, the relationship mentor comes from Him. It is also important that we pray and ask for guidance on who we are to be with and how we are to go about the relationship.
In part two (Chapters, 4 and five)
She calls this part, prepare to love, she highlights the importance of becoming a catch. Naturally, people of similar character traits attract each other, so if you’re looking for the right person -become the right person. It is important as single people that we prepare ourselves to become attractive to the kind of spouse we desire to be with, so we become an asset to their lives and not a liability.
In chapter 5, Bimbo says single people ought to make themselves available. That is, go to places you can be found, because a lady for example that wants to be in a relationship shouldn’t sit at home all the time but she should go to social events such as weddings. Groomsmen are a good catch *winks*. It is wisdom to go to where your likely spouse could be, Abraham’s servant in Genesis 24 had to go to where Rebecca was, he didn’t sit there praying, binding and casting.
In Part 3, tagged the non-negotiable, Bimbo tells us to look for character, good character is essential. We want a spouse who is Christlike, someone who is gentle, loving, patient, honest, etc. Many times people care so much about the container and forget about the content. Character is so important, no one wants to end up with a wolf in sheep’s clothing. We don’t want unpleasant surprises because marriage is for life.
Secondly, we should give it time, get to know the person as a friend and don’t get too attached. Get to know them for who they are in a friendly environment with no romance involved. It is common for people to start acting differently when they realize that a person is attracted to them. So give it time and watch and observe the person especially as a guy before making your intentions known.
Lastly, creating mystery is important and this is the place of purity. We should remain pure before marriage, sexually pure and even pure in the mind. We shouldn’t be sexually involved before marriage, because that is disobeying God’s instructions. Even if you have been involved sexually, you ought to repent and remain pure even mentally.
In part four, Bimbo says that the more two people have in common, the better it is for them because how can two walk together, except they agree. To a large extent it is advantageous to agree in a lot of things which would mean than it would be easier to maintain the relationship and would also reduce argument and disagreement.
Having a common vision is so key, because if I don’t see myself in your vision then how can we become one? We ought to be two people working at becoming one flesh but if our visions don’t fit, our calling would take us in different direction and God wants us to be one. Be with someone that you can adapt or see your purpose being fulfilled alongside their vision.
In chapter 11, she makes us understand that marriage is a family affair you cannot marry without family being involved in it. Your family should accept your spouse because when you become one flesh, you and your spouse family should become one too. It is always nice to celebrated by the family of person your courting because they would respect you when you marry their son or daughter.
She closes by saying that finding true love is possible because that’s God’s plan. Genesis 24:67 says that “He (Isaac) married Rebekah and she became his wife and he loved her”. I pray that those of us who haven’t found love would find true love! Amen!
That’s a brief summary of the book. Now, let’s go to
WHAT I LIKED .
I love Bimbo Fola- Alade’s neutral outlook, and how the book is gender neutral. A young man and woman can both read this book and learn a lot from it. It is a simple and refreshing read that would set you on a right start on finding the one for you. It is also very practical and I’m sure the reader can see him or herself taking the advice and putting it to practice for example, the chapter about finding a relationship mentor.
WHAT SHE COULD IMPROVE ON.
I would have actually liked if the book was lengthier and points discussed in more detail, I felt she could have said more and I also believe she wanted to say more. But that’s because I love to read so that might not be an issue with some people.
I’ll give this book 9/10!
I’ll definitely recommend this to any one looking to be in a relationship but doesn’t know how to go about it. Though written by a Nigerian, the book is not culture specific, so who ever you are and wherever you are from you can read, understand and be impacted by this awesome book.
This book can be gotten on amazon by clicking here.
God bless you and thanks for reading.